Let's get to the writing part. I stayed up too late to watch Django Unchained. Too much caffeine, and a restless sleep. Slept in ten minutes later and now I am feeling a bit rushed, even though I have time before the ride gets here. So what am I facing the twenty four hours ahead?
Kristin should be back to work. It is weird without her there, and it's weird when she is there. I haven't texted her, haven't talked to her in almost forty eight hours. Seems like a lifetime on this side of the fence, though. I am starting to catch up on work, filters. I need to get to the post office soon. i am starting to stress about finances again. Need to call water and electric. I need to figure out a way to get a car.
Half of that is not for the next twenty four hours anyway. Stop and breathe and regroup, throughout the day if I need to. Still need to say my prayers for the morning.
In the books this morning, it talked again about trusting and relying upon god. Duh. The AlAnon was really good about expressing it. He has offered me the gift of faith. That is a nice way to think about it. The other one talked about not fearing the strains of life, because he knows what I can bear for the next twenty four hours.
Okay then, god. I will put my faith into you today completely. As best i can, and when I forget will you gently remind me that I am not? I am still sad that she is gone. I want what is best for her, and I know my mistakes caused all of this to happen, or facilitated it anyway. But I want her back, and I will do my best to give her to you and your protection again, regardless of what happens between us. I am mad at you god, but I have faith in you as well, that there is a place closer to you where you need me to get to, and I place my direction in your hands.
Peace.
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