Morning meditation five slash three sixty five.

It's hard to write here while Connor is lying beside me in his bed, halfway waking up. I can pretend to write later but I know he will be dominating the computer time and I won't have a chance.

I am fighting the urge to text her. I did not sleep well, and the morning meditation is dealing with finding peace again. Hah! I was able, slightly at least, to mix yesterday's inventory with today's reading, rather than as two separate paragraphs. I texted her about swapping the bed for the washer yesterday. Since then I am packing (again), and I don't want to see her ever again, and I don't want to have to come back in six months and interact with her. And it's not a good or a bad thing to share with her, I mean, I have to kind of tell her, but my reasons to text her now with that information is only to let her know I am hurt by it. So Danny would say not to text her. 

Damn it. 

The meditation says that when I am relaxed, God's strength will flow through me and I will be at peace. not happening, but I do believe that it will. Someday. And I am disturbing Connor, so I am going to stop typing for now.