I
For the briefest of moments his hand hovered above the delete button. For about three long seconds he hesitated, running the consequences through his mind one final time. He had spent years on this novel. The characters had come alive nightly, dancing across his computer screen, jet-setting across imaginary continents. His fingers had brought his ideas to life; these were living breathing people to him as much as bits and bytes in the word document· Even more than that he realized they had brought him to life. They lifted him from his depression; they made him go out into the world and rediscover his senses, the smell of perfume in a hug and the sound of traffic on the boulevard. For those few seconds he could feel them screaming at him, the words transforming into real faces looking up at him urging him to be kind; to be human.
That was enough to convince him though. Looking into their virtual eyes reminded him immediately of the damage they had already caused. Like a lone samurai he wielded these words to suit his purpose; to defend his imaginary fortress and attack those wanting to help. In those few seconds he saw clearly the damage they would do when unleashed upon the world, like a poison to spread from one friend to the next infecting in turn their families and their family’s family. They did bring him life, and he knew it was time to live it.
He hit the delete button. He confirmed it when the little pop-up window asked if he was sure. He emptied his recycle bin, and still feeling the need to purge them completely, began to reformat his hard drive. He walked outside to smoke, cupping the cigarette against the rain that came down to finish cleansing his senses. He was finally at peace.
II
“There’s no such thing as a one night stand” she repeated to John, whose look of shock, perhaps even horror, remained frozen on his face. “If you’re gonna sleep with me you’re gonna stay with me” she added as she finally removed the pillow case from around his throat. She checked again for a pulse in his neck, and finding none there removed the handcuffs and brought his hands to rest on his side. She debated whether or not to leave him naked, and decided that putting his boxers back on, at least, would be more appropriate.
“Forever and always, John. Isn’t that wonderful!” She smiled, and having placed his boxers back on him, dragged him from the bed and across the room into the living room. She pondered her options and decided that John would like the love seat best. He was not too large of a man so the struggle of placing him into a seated position, though not easy, was manageable. She sat beside him, clicking the remote on and hit the up channel button a number of times, settling on some romantic comedy from the nineties. She lifted his arm up and around her shoulder as she snuggled her cheek against his chest. She sighed audibly and let her smile grow, finding contentment in his arms.
III
“Fuck you Bitch!” he screamed into the phone just before slamming it into the receiver, and then placing it more carefully after it bounced out and onto the floor. As it began ringing a minute later he pulled the jack out of the wall and went out the door for a long-delayed drink of whisky at the bar downstairs.
IV
“You think we will always be this happy?” she asked him, her voice quiet but heard over the approaching storm. He laughed.
“No."
“Why not?” He felt the tension creep into her body against his. She was now looking up at him, the hurt showing through her eyes.
“Because this is life, baby. It gets messy, remember?” She didn’t have to remember too long ago, the bullets flying and the plans and back-up plans going to shit around them.
“But we made it. We survived it all, and found each other. I love you, lover.”
“I love you too baby”
“But you can’t be happy with me? Forever after?” He wanted to sigh but found himself smiling instead. She had that way with him.
“Forever and then some baby. Just don’t think we won’t fight at all. Okay? I mean, don’t think it’s all easy from now on that’s all.”
“Are we fighting?” Is she serious, he wondered to himself, and decided that she was, despite the smile forming on her lips. He could watch that smile forever, and then some.
“Nah, baby. We’re living.” And he smiled back at her, one of those wide unforgettable smiles that tended to come few and far between over the past few months. He was glad to have it back. “Now let’s get on with the serious living baby.”
“To Dakota?”
“You know it.” He closed the lid on the suitcase; gun and cash locked together once again, and started the car, letting the engine purr before placing it in drive. “Dakota here we come.”
